Exposition

Trying to find a man in your twenties becomes infinitely more complicated than it was as a teenager. Teenage days were filled with house parties and drunken nights in parks and various other experiences fertile with young single men desperate to get laid. Finding a boyfriend was like shooting fish in a barrel if you were relatively attractive. I had the bonus of a personality as well as looks which made it all the easier.

Of course having good looks is also a lot easier when you're a teenager. You're naturally slim, your skin is superb - dark rings round your eyes and grey hairs aren't even an issue. As you hit your mid twenties suddenly things that you thought didn't happen to your body until you were ancient (like 40) suddenly start to hit. Cellulite, wrinkles, I shan't go on - I'm scaring myself as it is. But the point is suddenly looking good is something that takes effort and time.

The real issue though is the rapidly drying up pool of opportunity. There are still of course lots of very young single men, and of course sleeping with 19 year olds does have some plus points. However it rarely leads to a serious committed relationship and having to act like their mother all the time to get them to behave like an adult is rather tedious and at the same time disturbing.

Men your age are at an odd stage. Either they are panicking about heading towards thirty and so trying to regain as much lost youth as they can or they have already been snaffled up by some woman who was their university girlfriend and has got her claws so deep into them they have no hope of escape ever.

And then of course there are the older men, men who five years ago you wouldn't have dreamt with going out with because it would be creepy. Suddenly dating a forty year old doesn't actually seem such a mad idea. However these men of course come with serious baggage. If they are still single then clearly something is wrong with them - or they're lying. Mostly they're married / divorced / living with someone / have kids. Obviously none of these things are a reason not to be with someone if you love them but it does have the rather oppressive effect of making you feel old before your time.

Whittling them down however makes no difference unless you can find the buggers in the first place. Meeting new people is a scary and difficult thing to do as an adult. You have your work colleagues, your mates from way back when and....well that is often just it. You end up going one of two paths - living vicariously through a mate who does know lots of people or joining some sort of club / society / group in order to meet people. The former can bring up all sorts of complications of an emotional kind when your mate gets involved in some shape or form with the relationships. The latter can lead you to a fulfilling and exciting pursuit - or it can just mean you end up trapped in some group you thought would be filled with eligible bachelors but instead is filled with men who can't get a girlfriend for a very good reason.

So the dating game in your twenties becomes filled with chance moments, mad twists of fate and blind luck. I was going to say something else there but was terrified I was about to start sounding like Carrie "stuck up bitch" Bradshaw (I must make it clear, I have no issues with Sarah Jessica Parker herself - just the character she plays!).

Anyway to sum up - it's bloody tough out there, trying to meet the love of your life.